the love on your lips, sweetheart, im sorry but your not the first.

so todayy actually turned out to be a really good one :) 

easy day at school, i had a test but it was easy 

and idk everything and everyone was super chill today like no problems :p 

and i really hope you're feeling better about the whole insecurityness/ getting 

annoyed at people and remember that i love you :D 

&* then track was easyyy then i went home with dave

and we hungout and watched a movie and ate dinner

haha and he bugged me about going to the meet with him tomorrow 

:p 

i really like hanging out with dave, we're really good friends :] nd im glad u guys are too. 

altho the him and shan thing is quite stressful, not gonna lie :p 

and im defenitely talking to her on saturday!! 

ahh i am so freaking excited for this weeekend!!! 

i bet u are too :] 

but yeah friday idk if i'm gonna hang out with gar, i feel like that would be too intense 

and we havent been talking as much and eh i dont want him to get used too it and for it to progress to quicky you know? 

like he needs to realize how lucky he is here :p 

i mean its fun and everything, but its not real and i dont want to become too attached and i dont want him to like expect it? u know? :p 

so i think i'm just gonna go to the track meet and chill with dave :] 

but who knows maybe i'll change my mind :p 

idk i just dont want guys to see me like that? do u know what  i mean... :p 

and then saturday im hanging out with shan shan and i wish u could comeee =[ 

but we shall miss u dearly and i will defenitely fill you in on all our convos :D 

then sunday!!!! 

the best day of all, your confirmation my dear. i am so freaking excited :D 

i lovee you babe and you're gonna do great!! 

=]]

no matter what i do, i always forget to forget you.

hi, i loved these graphics.

god i just love graphics posts

they are seriously the best things ever.

actually just you know graphics in general are the best.

and how ive missed good old blogging..

probally be doing a lot of it

tonight and tomorrow..seeing as i have the wonderful, crappy, flu.

hahaa.

but yesh. things are eh, good i guess, besides having the stupid flu

matts good.

the mile suckedddddddddddd. but its over with :)

this weekends gonna be good...i can feel it. can we please do something friday?! like a girl hangout maybe, or a me, you, shan thing. because i feel like i havent seen you guys that much.

have you ever felt like some stuff in your life is coming together so perfectly

and then some other stuff in your life is just so messed up?

i dont know why.

but i always feel like that.

especially right now.

like sometimes. stuff is going great and i feel happy and sunshiney

and then other times it's like i want to explode..

ps: listen to this song; passion play- william fitzsimmons

i'm unusually hard to hold on too.

like anj said. 

the rain matched my mood today

blah, blah blah. 

but surprising

weirdly ?? 

track made me feel better, 

idk maybe i'm going delusional. 

maybe i just feel better when i actually accomplish things

haha =p 

like seriously last quarter was sincerly out of control

grades = fail

sports = fail

so this quarter i'm gonna really try to do way better in track/school 

and not slack like i always do. 

oh and speaking of getting in control

i seriously need to vow to get in control of my life

like realllyyy :p 

of course i shall still be spontaneous but u know :) 

and the title; i'm unusually hard to hold on tooo :]

refers to of course you know who

therefore we work because if i get sick of him, it'll be all good :p 

movingg on. 

i seriously hate when people drift. 

its so bothersome 

=p

but whatever for now im just gonna be whatever 

with him, and this time, i'm not even gonna try to fix it 

because i'm sick of playing stupid pointless games with people 

(especially him) 

and i'd rather use my time on people who actually appriciate me, you know?? 

mehpants. 

also, i've discovered an issue. 

so you know how my self esteem kinda fails? :p

well it hasnt been tooo badd lately but i find my self

craving garrs approval

which is muy bad, because i dont wanna put my self worth in guys

and especially not him, kinda defeats the purpose of benefriends :p

but the reason its been weird is because i havent felt 

bad about my appearence neccesarily lately 

but i've felt like crap about my personality 

like i'm not interesting or nice or funny 

you know =[ 

most likely the reason is because i feel like gar 

only appriciates me for what i look like :p

i dont know, hopefully i'll get overr it. 

alrite well 

i'm a rambler

as usual 

=p 

i lovee you so much; 

maggs. 

the inside lingo had me at hello.

highlight of the day: seeing you and shan and both sarahs =] and track being cancelled! 

lowss: hicky nonsense, people being odd. =p oh yeah and FREAKIN SCHOOL =p

so my day was okay

we made it through the worse anj. 

thank the lord. 

seriously this day seemed terribly long

and i dont know, some people seemed weird, 

matt for instance :p ever since he ditched us monday hes been gayy 

as anythingg :p 

but whatever, hes probally in one of his dumb mooods again. 

so anj, i wanted to tell you how much i loveee you :) 

and i appriciate you and honestly dont know what i would do without you 

i can tell you anything and i pretty much do ;] 

you encourage me so much and help me out soo much 

and you are suchh a good friend. 

and i hope i can be just as good as a friend too you too =]

=D

this is what happens when i have too much time.

i think too much about things. 

i think this is a problem

i'm seriouslyy insane. 

=p

but its okay its whatever. 

so the garrett thing. 

idon't wanna become too dependent 

because we talk ALL the time 

and all. 

but idk i defenitely don't have his heart 

and he doesnt nor do i want him to have mine. 

so i try to keep it completely superficial/benefriend releted 

when we talk 

so i dont get to know him and fallfor him 

=p or u know vice versa. 

haha. 

but its still hard. we have this weird realationship

but i think as long as i chill and not think about it too hard

im completely fine 

yet this is hard, i know im crazy

i sorta love blogging 

im doing it more :) 

and u better too 

because regardless of what you say anj, u are inspiring, you inspire me everyday, and you defenitely have things to write about. 

i feel helpless sometimes, this world is just crazy, and i wish i was more in control

which is why the gar thing is good, because thts one thing i am in control ofyou know. 

but i suppose thts a hell of a lot harmless than an eating disorder or somthing like tht. 

i just dont know .

i dont want it to get too out of hand tho 

keep it fun and not to serious, 

i think  i should probally stop him at this stage for awhile 

because if i go farther than this 

i know im gonna get attached, more than i already am at this point anyway, seriously whenever i hear a playlistsong it reminds me of him =p

and i feel like things are changing too.... like its almost summer

and the years winding down

and some people like matt are goingto different schools next years 

and maybe i am too ? i dont know, ill save that decision for another time defenitely :p 

thats what i mean about feeling out of control. 

i love change

and at the sametime i hate it . 

dear lord, im insane. 

maggs. 

do you remember when our lips we're bestfriends?

"We were over from the start."




hello there how you doing, ive got all these thoughts just floating through my brain.
so i miss blogging and ive noticed that i've been ranting to people (namely you anj)
so this made me realize that i desperately need to blog as well.
i dont really have a topic for the day, just gonna rant and rave and write whatever..k cool? :]

my name is maggie, actually marjorie elise, i used to want to change it to allie, allie was my favorite name i dont know why, once i wrote a letter to my parents, saying i was running away because they were being so difficult, and then i signed it allie, haha. in elementary school a lot of my teachers hated me isnt that nice? there was only 2 i loved, Mrs. Puckett and Mr. B, first and fourth gradee were probally the best school years. i always wanted to go to public school, i used to beg my parents to let me, like for serious hours and i would cry and cry and scream and fight. and now they;re letting me and i dont even know if i wanna go anymore, how messed up and weird is that? I feel like ii should take a risk and go and just do it, but at the same time i love my friends and i dont wanna get all messed up. my brother just got out of the shower, and he smells weird, like clean weird, and i just identified the scent...he smells like fresh tampons, ew. haha. i like to read other peoples blogs. its fun, i find people really intriging and it bothers me when people are boring, like yay we have nothing to talk about? i feel like if people aim me they should have things to talk about like dont im me so u can be like "hey, whatsup" and then go into the oh so intelligant, so....." that is so obnoxious it makes me want to scream. gah, i mean im sure everyone is interesting right? like my brother sam, he cant really hold a conversation with normal people, hes deemed quiet, but to me he could talk for like hours, maybe because we know eachother so well who knows? i brought an audiobook today, and thought i would hate it but i actually loved it :) it twas great. so, u know how when u listen to a song, and they really mean something to you and apply to ur life and such ? well if u think about it...how many other people have heard that song hm? and thought it applied to their life..

k im done, raise ur hand if u care.
hah :p

so anyway back to the real world.

"Lets destroy eachother
cause we're too cool for lovelines,
soft kisses over cheap wines
smoke me baby like your last cigarette
whisper to me, say you'll never forget, could you break my heart a little more?
Shove my body up against yours
and kiss me like you mean it
anything worth a taste burns as it goes down
could you tell me i'm so Audrey Hepburn
when my hair falls to the side?
and say, " Girl, im not here to love you tender,
i'm just here for the ride."
Let's blind ourselves by love and be deaf to all who say it's fatal
its not that we dont know
its just that we don't care. "

^ hello me and gar quote.
i shall tell u those details tomorrow
:p