i'm unusually hard to hold on too.

like anj said. 

the rain matched my mood today

blah, blah blah. 

but surprising

weirdly ?? 

track made me feel better, 

idk maybe i'm going delusional. 

maybe i just feel better when i actually accomplish things

haha =p 

like seriously last quarter was sincerly out of control

grades = fail

sports = fail

so this quarter i'm gonna really try to do way better in track/school 

and not slack like i always do. 

oh and speaking of getting in control

i seriously need to vow to get in control of my life

like realllyyy :p 

of course i shall still be spontaneous but u know :) 

and the title; i'm unusually hard to hold on tooo :]

refers to of course you know who

therefore we work because if i get sick of him, it'll be all good :p 

movingg on. 

i seriously hate when people drift. 

its so bothersome 

=p

but whatever for now im just gonna be whatever 

with him, and this time, i'm not even gonna try to fix it 

because i'm sick of playing stupid pointless games with people 

(especially him) 

and i'd rather use my time on people who actually appriciate me, you know?? 

mehpants. 

also, i've discovered an issue. 

so you know how my self esteem kinda fails? :p

well it hasnt been tooo badd lately but i find my self

craving garrs approval

which is muy bad, because i dont wanna put my self worth in guys

and especially not him, kinda defeats the purpose of benefriends :p

but the reason its been weird is because i havent felt 

bad about my appearence neccesarily lately 

but i've felt like crap about my personality 

like i'm not interesting or nice or funny 

you know =[ 

most likely the reason is because i feel like gar 

only appriciates me for what i look like :p

i dont know, hopefully i'll get overr it. 

alrite well 

i'm a rambler

as usual 

=p 

i lovee you so much; 

maggs.