Looking at you, holding my breath, for once in my life i'm scared to death.

don`t count the days;;make the days count.

So I took a shower and completely calmed down and have now come to a few decesions (wooo finallyy :D) so here we go :]]

one: garrettt.

I was looking through my blog posts, deleting my drafts and such and i came across the one titled "ive gone crazy from the moment i met you." It was a good one and i finished it, but never posted it cause i couldnt find the graphic i wanted, but i'm pretty sure you read it, anyway i was reading over it and found this paragraph,

"so i dunno, i kind of like some guys, or i think i do, its an off and on thing :p but i don't wanna get attached to a guy or obsess over him or anything haha which is why i'm kinda keeping to myself :p I mean to be honest, I like to flirt ! haha and I really like boys and having fun with them. So if I can find a boy, who really likes me and wants to have fun and doesnt want problems, ill take him pleasee :D haha good luck ? :p Obviously i dont want a perfect one (haha impossible!) but just a good one. And when it comes to boys, I've kinda learned to listen to my heart and not other people because honestly only you know who you like, other people cant and wont know how you feel, sometimes you like a person for a reason you can't explain and even if he's a mistake, sometimes it's worth making :D "'

um wow, wow, wow. This is perfect advice, and it came from myself haha. :pp, I think i give good advice to my friends and such, and one of my new years resolutions was to take my own advice, so here i go :] This is what i'm gonna do with gar, its settled.

two : myself

Alright, so as you know i have a little bit of a self esteem issue sometimes, and i was feeling like total crap today before i got in the shower, one thing i hate about myself is my arms, i think theyre ugly and hairy haha and etc etc. Yet today when we were in gym, i was sitting next to shan and she was like "ugh my arms are so hairy, eww." and i looked at them (having never noticed them before) and they looked exactly like mine and they were completely fine and pretty. I always thought people really notice my flaws yet when it comes down to it, your really the only one who does, you know? So i was thinking about this before i got in the shower, so in the shower i decided to try this self esteem exercise i heard about. So i looked at my body, and admired and complimented every part i liked (turns out to be more than u think..) and i accepted my flaws and even tried to say something nice there too. IT really really helped and make me feel really happy, i defenitely suggest you try it .

So as you can see i'm in a much, much. much better wayy more peaceful moood.

and im loving myself :D

Never cry at night over not being pretty enough. Never tell yourself you'll never be good enough.Because to someone, you're everything. To someone, you're gorgeous. To someone you are the world.

"You've got to fight for what you believe in. You have to finish what you start." --- Jackie Kennedy

"imperfection is beauty. madness is genius.& its better to be absolutely ridiculous thanto be absolutely boring, & when it comes down to it, i let them think what they want.if they care enough to bother with what i dothen im already better than them"