who needs love when you've got insecurities?

"The hardest things to do in life are to trust, to have faith and to forgive, so I want you to hear the strength in my voice when I say, I forgive you because I love you, that's simple and that complicated. To forgive is to move forward, Georgia Rule. "

- Georgia Rule.

So, I'm feeling weird tonight. I really just dont wanna let people get to me and my happiness, but it feels like once again i am. gahh. the bob marley quote is really true for me though i feel like so many people have been judging me and it just gets me so upset. I just need to stop caring about other peoples opinions, especially when they have the totally wrong one of me. I just feel like dc people are total utter hypocrites, like they say theyre christians and they wanna be christlike, etc. etc. But everyone gossips ridiculosuly, like worse than people i know who arent christians. And the judging everyone does is really bad too, like "Do not judge or you will be judged." anyone ever heard that one besides me? haha and the sad thing; the parents are like worse than the kids. That's one thing i like about my parents, they dont really get involved in my school life. Like yeah if one of my friends is directly a bad influence there gonna say like, i dont want u hanging out with them, but they dont talk to other parents about kids, and they dont judge one of my friends from stories. Like i know I'm not perfect (no crap :pp) but you know what? No one is perfect, and no matter how big or small your mistakes are, they all look the same to God. everyone is just as bad as everyone else, so if you wanna judge me, wipe tht look off your face and let me examine everything bad you've done first. and then we'll talk k? <---needed to get this out of my system lol :p

"I don't understand you guys at all. I don't understand how you can just drop someone off as a friend, in an

instant, if they do something wrong. People make mistakes. Isn't that what a friendship is about? A friendship

has it's ups and downs....in the end the conflict will only make it stronger. How you all let drama affect your

lives so easily. You give into it.

There's ALWAYS some sort of drama with you." - found this on an xanga, i feel like that with a certain someone

in my life....

alright moving on... :p.

and i love this picture (top one), because its this beautiful girl,

and shes holding happy balloons. but then the look on her face is

like bam, so unhappy and she's also in this field with grafitti in

the background. it seems like she was at this wonderful party and

something happened and she just bolted like i must get out of here.

haha :p

well tonite i didnt feel like "oh i must get out of here" but like anja, i felt like i didnt belong, i dont

know, i mean sometimes i did, and then other times i was like uhh. im not wanted here...moving

on haha. it was odd and mixed signals and such. and at first the party like made me doubt who i

trusted and who i was really friends with, and then i talked to kess on the phone and she made

me feel like that even more. it's just so hard to know who you can trust, and sometimes it's like

you dont even wanna let anyone in, for fear of them letting you down or spilling your secrets or

just being a crappy friend. but you know thats what life is all about, you have to trust people or

u can never really love people or give them a chance to love you. if you dont trust people, you

never put yourself out there, and let people get to know the real you. You never have a chance to

learn who your true friends are and who to avoid, you never learn tp trust yourself really.

So in conclusion of that, haha if it made any sense to you :p its tht, i know who im gonna trust, im

not gonna let peoples comments get in the way, especially when i know theyre false. I'm gonna

trust my true friends not to hurt me, or talk about me, until they prove to me, that im wrong

about them.

"I don't need another half to make me whole."

-Natasha Bedingfield

i loved this quote too, i mean dont get me

wrong i love boys, they are cutiess :) haha but i feel like i dont need one to make me complete, you know? I can be fine with just me and if a boy comes along goood :D but i dont need him, to make me complete,. haha.

so i know this was kinda a lot

and mucho ramblingness but i felt the need :D

i love you anja.

thanks for being there and always knowing just how i feel ! :D

maggs.